Monday, September 28, 2009

More Parental stuff...

This is kind of a continuation of the last post. I think the reason why the whole coming out stuff has come back into the fore is that I've been thinking a lot about my relationship with my parents recently, and how it has changed.

Last week I got a call from one of my close friends who lives in SF who was in tears. Her mother was diagnosed with an incurable, terminal illness, and has only months left to live. In addition to being heartbroken for her, it also just reminded me the recent loss of my grandmother. We talked for a long time, and I tried to keep a brave face on the phone, but as soon as she was off the phone, I broke down from all the emotion.

I feel like it would be a disservice to my grandmother and my friend if I didn't take this as a call to action of my own. I love my parents, and I am lucky to have them in such great health. I really wish I could just call them up and talk, but it has been so stilted recently. I haven't told them about my boyfriend, because the last time I mentioned seeing someone to my mom, she was so cold that I just didn't want to deal with her anymore.

I am so happy right now with where my life is, compared to a year ago, and I wish that I could share that happiness with my parents in a way that they could appreciate. It would be easy for me to say "this is their problem, not mine" and feel superior, but I think I am going to have to swallow my pride and work with them through this, even if the conversations are going to be terrible and make me feel horrible.


  1. it'll take time...hope your parents come around.

  2. :( Having a gay kid is hard for most parents but I feel like it's that much more difficult for Asian parents. Good luck.

  3. I'm getting caught up still... only 400 posts unread...

    I'm seeing someone now. We're dating. Not boyfriends, but dating... and I've lied to my mom about whether I've met someone. She actually sounded relieved and said (with finality) "You're just happy to stay single." Hmm. I'm wondering what'll happen when I tell them about a boyfriend for the first time ever.