Friday, June 26, 2009

Parents Just Don't Understand

Off the topic of arrests, dating, and general relationship confusion...

Since I lost my phone, I called my parents to let them know that my old number wouldn't work for a bit, and not to freak out, and I ended up talking to my Mom. Eventually, discussion about my job, family members' health, and the weather dried up and we were left with nothing left to talk about but me.

Like I said, my parents have recently seemed ok with things finally... My mom mentioned she was coming to NY in the fall with one of her sisters, and it occurred to me that I haven't come out to any of them. I asked her if she was comfortable with me starting to tell some of her sisters and brothers, and she just stayed quiet. Finally she asks "How sure are you about this? Are you sure you're not bisexual?" Sigh. #momfail.

But whatever, I told her I was sure, and blah blah blah and we got back to talking about her trip. Then she asks me if I'm dating anyone. Now... ok... maybe I'm expecting too much, but here is what a normal parent/child conversation about relationships is supposed to go, if I'm not mistaken.

Mom: Are you seeing anyone special?
Child: Yeah, kinda.
Mom: What's his/her name?

And here's how mine went:
Mom: Are you seeing anyone special?
Child: Yeah, kinda.
Mom: So you're not being promiscuous?

So I get that she is concerned about my health and great, but it kind of depressed me that she showed no interest in really finding out about what's going in my life, and clearly doesn't want to hear about any specifics. And I'm not going to go forcing it down her throat or anything. Still, it does bother me because I used to be pretty close to my parents and now that is strained. Obviously my expectations for them might have been to high, but I would like them to be interested in my life, and be happy for me when things are going well... I guess I'm worried it's going to be like this forever.

Oh well. I'm getting that out of my mind. Gay Pride this weekend, and while I'm missing big chunks of it to probably pick up trash on the West Side Highway, I still plan on enjoying the rest of it.

Happy Pride everyone!


  1. i'm sure you'll get that close relationship back with your family still, at least she still talks to you. it took you awhile to come to terms with your sexuality, she'll need time as well.

    Happy Pride. SF this weekend :]

  2. yeah I'm excited for pride! I think i'm going to end up combining all my plans, so hopefully I'll just bring PF around to all the events I was going to go to with my friends!

    Unfortunately, it just started T-storming hardcore here in NYC so I think a lot of the events planned for tonight and tomorrow may be a little muted.

  3. Happy Pride Weekend, despite your circumstances, I hope you can get out for something or other. You can try and call out "sick" from the community service if you can for Sunday, to get to the Parade or whatever, they should/maybe/might be able to reschedule you. Worth a try, I guess.

    Anyway, what other event(s) are you going to?

  4. Heh. Moms. Gotta love 'em. I've been through the same exact stuff. I've heard "It sounds so final!" and "Well you don't know FOR SURE," at least once a month each whenever I talk with my Mom. It sort of is final, and I do know for sure don't seem to be valid answers.

    Good luck on making the most of the weekend!