Monday, December 28, 2009

Eh, maybe I spoke too soon.

Eh, just a few days after I post that I don't feel like a noob anymore, I get handed a bunch of situations that make me feel completely unprepared once again.

First off, my Mom is kind of "two steps forward, two steps back", and not in a Paula Abdul friendly kind of way. Like, I had mentioned to her last time that I was seeing someone, and she didn't seem that interested in hearing more, so I didn't really press the issue. This time she was asking questions about him, like how old he is and stuff. All of this seemed pretty good, and I was kind of happy my Mom was interested in my life again. Then she asked "Has he had previous partners?" She actually said this. I don't know if it was her Asian-ness or the fact that she was a doctor that made her feel entitled to that. I got kind of angry with her, and asked her if she had asked my Sister-in-law that. She doesn't even really have the decency to be embarassed or sheepish about it. Ugh. So they're a work in progress.

The big dilemma for me is coming in the form of family weddings, though. So I took Chris to a friend's wedding in Thanksgiving, and it was really fun. However, now I'm getting invited to a ton of cousin's weddings for this upcoming year. 4 so far, actually (I have a gigantic family). Not really sure what to do here.

  1. My parents haven't met Chris in person. I dunno if a wedding is the right place for all that.
  2. Plus, while I'm out to a lot of the cousins and aunts/uncles on my Mom's side, there are a lot of extended family I'm not. While I don't really care, I really don't want to cause any drama, especially at a cousin's wedding. I know it's lame, but I feel like it's probably better not to bring Chris to those.

So that's kind of lame. I mean, one of the things I love about Chris is that he's really understanding of my general overthinking of everything, and would understand if I'm not comfortable bringing him to all these weddings. It still kind of sucks though :(.

Eh, the first one isn't until April. I have some time to decide I guess.


  1. As a matter of etiquette, it makes a difference whether the invitation is to "Will" or to "Will and Guest" — or maybe to "Will's parents and family." Generally an invitation only extends to the people listed. Invited guests don't have the option of inviting additional people. Of course, if it says "and Guest" or if there is a response card where you can indicate if you will be bringing someone else, that's different.

    If the invitation doesn't include Chris and you want to bring him, you need to contact the ones who sent the invitation and ask if it would be all right.

    So it's not entirely up to you.

    And I think you should find some occasion other than a wedding to introduce Chris to your parents, if it's at all feasible.

  2. As always naturgesetz is right on the money with everything he says. I would definitely agree that "introducing" Chris at the wedding would be bad form, regardless of the circumstances.

    Hopefully between now and April you can find ways to integrate him into the picture a bit more and perhaps smooth things over.

  3. Well the one in April is for me and guest, and the groom has actually met Chris and expressly said he was invited if I felt comfortable with it.

    As for whether or not it's the right time to introduce Chris, it probably isn't... but as with everything else, is there ever really a right time?

  4. Well then you might as well, if you feel like it. The focus won't be on you and Chris, so it might be more comfortable than when you're the center of attention.

  5. I recommend holding off bringing Chris to the wedding. It should be your cousins' special day, and you should not hog any attention. ;-)


  6. Alex, I have to say my initial reaction was something like that... but it does bother me that just cause I'm gay, I have to be worried that bringing a date will be a scene. My straight cousins will be bringing dates that no one else has met and it won't be a big deal...

    But yeah, I am aware this is the world we live in, and it is my cousin's day, so I'll probably do just that. It just sucks.