Monday, November 23, 2009

Who's on your list?

So other than the wedding, I spent most of my time in India traveling with my old roommate and his girlfriend of two years. We somehow got on the subject of movies that were bad, and he made fun of her for liking The Proposal and I innocently chimed in that I would watch it just for the scenes with Ryan Reynolds naked. My ex-roommate paused and turned to me and said "You like him? What is it about him?"

Apparently, I had stepped in a couple-minefield of theirs, which is their "lists". I have no idea why straight couples do this, but I guess that episode of Friends where Ross and Rachel have their list of exceptionally fuckable celebrities is true in real life. So, Ryan Reynolds is on his girlfriend's list and he's jealous. Still I realized I never really think about it that often and I don't know if I have a list, but I figured I'd try to put one together. This is unordered, and completely superficial. Personality doesn't matter unless it's Christian Bale, who is too psycho to consider fucking.

  • Ryan Reynolds

    So I know I said personalities don't matter, but in this case they kinda do. Ryan Reynolds was already pretty cute in his comedian days, and then he decided to graft his funnyman head onto a super-ripped body for some crappy action movie and blew up into superstardom and my better wet dreams.

  • Jason Statham

    So I'm pretty sure I've already posted this exact picture here, but that's cause it's one of the hotter pictures that's ever existed ever. Jason Statham actually started out as a fashion model before moving into movies, and that's cause he's hot and built like a tank.

  • Takeshi Kaneshiro

    So I surprised my friend's girlfriend with this one. She blurted out "I thought you weren't into Asian guys." I was like, "Uh, why would you think that?" She mumbled something lame about, "Oh, all my gay Asian friends aren't into other Asian guys." I would have been offended by her weird generalization, but this was pretty late in our trip, and I had kind of gotten used to her saying provocative things to get a reaction out of them, so I just told her I was too narcissistic to not like other Asian guys. Like I've said before, I don't know if I really dated enough to have a real type... I kinda tasted the rainbow while I was dating.
    Anyway, Takeshi Kaneshiro is sweet hotness on toast.

  • Patrick Wilson

    I would have been on the fence about this one last year, but Watchmen sealed his geek credibility for me, so I'd totally do Patrick Wilson. He's a little bit too-all-american for my tastes, but I'll make an exception. Just this once.

  • Gabriel Garcia Bernal

    This one comes with a bullet. There are some movies/stills where I'm not into him at all, and then there are some where he is stunning. Eh, but what am I saying, I'd do him even if he had a reverse mohawk and was covered in rat droppings.

So that's my list right now, but I'm probably forgetting a few. Sure there are plenty of hot celebrities out there, but the list is for people who make your breath just stop when you see them. Also, in the discussion with my friend's gf, she mentioned a lot of celebrities that I think are like "women-only". Like, I just don't think they have any gay appeal. These are like Colin Firth types. I can see how they're objectively good looking, but they just don't strike that chord there.

Shallowest post ever? Nah, check the archives.


  1. #1: Johnny Depp

    After that, not so sure.

  2. nice choice of guys. jake gyllenhaal is in my book.

  3. Gabriel Garcia Bernal is one of my faves and he is mos def on the list. I was pleasantly surprised to see him while scrolling down; he was so unexpected. I didn't know he was on anyone's list. Hiroki Narimiya is cute and Hiroki Otsuka...not really a celeb but worth mentioning. I guess if I had to be American about it I would choose Will Demps? He plays football does that count? Shit! He's half Korean:(

  4. I take issue with Statham, only because of his role in Snatch. He looked just a little gruff in that flick. Plus I found his accent annoying. ;-)