When I look back at this blog and my life and everything that's changed in the past two years, it's been such an intense and rewarding experience, and a big part of that support came initially from this blog and the story I was able to share and get such powerful feedback on, and I wanted to thank everyone again, if I hadn't before.
As a corollary, I read a really interesting review of this book "A Box of Darkness". Well, no way for me to spoil the plot, but it's basically it's a true story- a woman's memoirs after her husband has died and she looks into his possessions and finds gay porn, evidence of homosexual affairs spanning the entire length of their marriage.
Honestly, I don't think I could ever read this book. Part of it is that this woman's story sounds kind of sad to me. Their relationship, which clearly, if it lasted their whole lives, despite his double life, couldn't have been all bad, but it does seem that there was this one way in which she found she had never satisfied her partner. Furthermore, from the excerpt, it sounds like his closetedness drove him to alcoholism, which made him be not such a great partner in other ways as well.
The other part is that, three years ago, when coming out was not an option to me at all, this is probably the type of life I was striving for. I think that stories like this, or Larry Craig, or any of those crazy closeted Republican politicians that turn out to be lifelong closet cases, are the ones that make me take stock and realize that what I was trying to do and trying to be all those years never made sense.
So this is a love story to myself and to anyone out there who has felt that they could never live the life they deserve. I am proud of myself and the people in my life who allowed me to love myself for who I am, and I am happier than I could ever have imagined.
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