Sunday, July 26, 2009

Oversharing Again

So... just curious.

At a certain point in a long term exclusive relationship, do you stop using condoms?


  1. i think that really comes down to how comfortale you are...ive been with my boyfriend for a year and a half and we live together but we still use condoms. we get tested regularly and things are fine but even after that long you never know. its never came up so it may just be my opinon its more hygenic lol. in your case it definitely way too soon in my opinion and to add on it feels the same to me.

  2. Yeah it hasn't come up between us either, I just was curious about it. This relationship stuff brings up a ton of questions, and there are some things I just feel uncomfortable about even asking my close IRL friends, so I tend to use this blog as a sounding board.

  3. You know, Dan Savage covered this on his podcast a while ago. I don't want to butcher his advice so I won't repeat it, but he was OK with it after you've been together longer than it takes for HIV (or some other STD) takes to show up in testing (on the order of months) and everyone's tests come back squeaky clean.

    Go peruse the archive of "the savage love podcast..." his answer's in there somewhere.

  4. no. Trust No One.

    No Condoms for 3.5 years with my ex. Found out one year later that he was sleeping with mutual friends, craigslist people and basicaly the entire community.

    Trust NO ONE.

  5. Not until he puts a ring on it!

    Frankly, I agree with letopho on this one. I've barebacked before but that was when I was much younger. I don't think I would be open to it now even in a relationship.


  6. Sorry to be late commenting on this one.

    We haven't used them in a long, long time. However, we've also been together just shy of 16 years. Some will call it stupid, I'm sure, but if I didn't trust my husband enough to be faithful to me, why would I be with him? It also goes both ways, we each have to trust that the other is being faithful.

    I think it was around 18 months or so and multiple HIV tests before we stopped, btw. And we still get checked every year when we have our annual physicals.