You have to be living under a rock to not have heard about one of the many recent tragic gay suicides that have been in the news so often lately. The story is so templatized by now that it is really scary- high school or college boy gets bullied to the point of suicide. Dan Savage has encouraged people to record video messages to these youths- in his "It Gets Better" project. But damn it, Jim, I'm a blogger, not a videographer.
Anyone reading this blog has probably experienced gay bullying of some kind. In my case, it was one of the forces that probably kept me in the closet so long; I dated girls in High School because it was the easiest way to dodge accusations-- and that lie got carried out through college and into my adult life. I attended a rigorously academic private school, and even there, anyone who even had rumors about their sexuality became socially stigmatized to near ostracism. By the time I was at college, even at a much more accepting place, I had internalized so much of that fear and self-loathing that I just kept it up. And the rest... well, read the blog.
I know I'm not the most prolific writer out there, but I do hope that this is getting read by people out there that are in the same boat, and are looking for positive examples for people living a normal, actualized life and living without fear. Whether you're in high school, college, or even if you're like I was- a desperately unhappy 28-year old who was trying to figure out how to undo a lifetime of second-guessing, I hope that I am living proof that it does get better.
So after all that, here are my updates. Despite my proclamation of not attending straight weddings in California, I'm still attending a crazy number of weddings in California (photobooth from the most recent one pictured here). Sigh. I make up for compromising my personal politics by eating a lot of tasty hors d'œuvres.
My parents have come around really well- in fact, as I am typing this, they are sleeping in the guest room at Chris and my apartment. They're visiting for the weekend, and it's actually been really great with them. I have also heard through the grapevine that they're much more comfortable telling their old friends about me. And hey, if 60 year old Chinese immigrant parents can proudly tell their friends their son is gay... it's got to be getting better, right?