Well, I'm actually a little late on this, but I thought I'd like to thank you all for coming to celebrate my gayversary. My first "coming out speech" was just over a year ago, at the beginning of February last year. What a long, strange, trip it has been.
I've managed to come out to pretty much all of my close family members. There are a few family members that just haven't been easy to contact logistically. I have 2 cousins in Australia that I've always felt close to, but I have had trouble finding convenient times to call, and calling someone out of the blue to come out seems so forced, although I guess I did that a lot. I have also heard, and this is completely not based on my experiences with my cousins, that Australians are in generally more socially conservative? I have never broached this subject with them, and I just don't want to trip some kind of cultural minefield.
In relationship news, I spent the first 3 months of my gay life being a big whore :), and then I met Chris and suddenly became a relationship gay. To be honest, looking back on it, I really probably thought I would be single for over a year, and date more, but I really don't regret any of it. I am really happy in my relationship right now.
Which... brings us to the newest piece of news... Chris and I are going to move in together! We're going to start looking at places when my lease is up in June. I'm so excited! He basically already spends every day at my apartment anyway, and it would be economical and practical, but MORE than that, I CANNOT WAIT to live with him! Ugh, now I'm getting all gushy. Still, it is exciting building a life with someone in a way that, 2 years ago, I had completely blocked myself off to.
The only snag is he still hasn't met my parents. I really think my parents will flip out if I move in with someone they've never met (but to be honest... they're going to flip out anyway, right?). Ugh, I need some advice on how to handle this one.
Monday, March 1, 2010
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Holidays and Charity
So the past two weeks were a blast. My friends cooked a big Chinese New Year feast last week and it was amazing. I won a hundred bucks in my superbowl pool. My sister came to town and I finally saw Wicked. And I probably had about the best valentine's day ever.
So things are going pretty good for me personally. It's also the time of year that my company does charity matching, and since everything's so good for me, I really want to give something back and donate to a charity that is important. I have already donated to a few causes this year. Haiti, a lymphoma society that my friends are running a triathalon for. However, for this, since it's matched and ostensibly from my company, I kind of feel like I should donate to a high profile LGBT advocacy group. I don't really know many. The only ones I know of are GLAAD and Marriage Equality USA. Between the two, I'm kind of inclined to go with Marriage Equality, but are there any other high profile, worthwhile gay advocacy groups I should consider?
So things are going pretty good for me personally. It's also the time of year that my company does charity matching, and since everything's so good for me, I really want to give something back and donate to a charity that is important. I have already donated to a few causes this year. Haiti, a lymphoma society that my friends are running a triathalon for. However, for this, since it's matched and ostensibly from my company, I kind of feel like I should donate to a high profile LGBT advocacy group. I don't really know many. The only ones I know of are GLAAD and Marriage Equality USA. Between the two, I'm kind of inclined to go with Marriage Equality, but are there any other high profile, worthwhile gay advocacy groups I should consider?
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Big hugz
Big hugz to Steve over at Lions, Tigers, and Science Oh My who just came out to his Mom and it didn't go so great.
When I was home over Christmas, there were moments where I felt like things maybe were ok with my Mom and Dad. They clearly were making some attempts to stay involved with my life, but I didn't know how much they wanted to know. Eventually they did ask a few questions about my bf; like where he's from, and what he does for a living (I didn't mention the unemployment, cause... that would not have made him very popular). I really hope it goes ok when I finally introduce him in person, but I should keep my expectations realistic.
I do think I still have a lot of disappointment and a little anger that my parents (my Mom in particular) didn't take my coming out very well, and in general made it all about her. Like I said to Steve, I think one of the hardest parts of growing up is realizing that your parents are imperfect, and that you can only expect so much of them before you get disappointed. My parents will never be the super-supportive PFLAG parents or anything, and if they're actually working hard to accept me for who I am, I have to be able to do the same and accept their slowness to accept change as well.
Anyway, good luck Steve, please keep us updated.
When I was home over Christmas, there were moments where I felt like things maybe were ok with my Mom and Dad. They clearly were making some attempts to stay involved with my life, but I didn't know how much they wanted to know. Eventually they did ask a few questions about my bf; like where he's from, and what he does for a living (I didn't mention the unemployment, cause... that would not have made him very popular). I really hope it goes ok when I finally introduce him in person, but I should keep my expectations realistic.
I do think I still have a lot of disappointment and a little anger that my parents (my Mom in particular) didn't take my coming out very well, and in general made it all about her. Like I said to Steve, I think one of the hardest parts of growing up is realizing that your parents are imperfect, and that you can only expect so much of them before you get disappointed. My parents will never be the super-supportive PFLAG parents or anything, and if they're actually working hard to accept me for who I am, I have to be able to do the same and accept their slowness to accept change as well.
Anyway, good luck Steve, please keep us updated.
Saturday, January 30, 2010
Home with friends
I know, I know. Bad blogger.
So I'm up super early on a Saturday because the couple above me had a kid 2 years ago, and now he starts running around at 8am on hardwood floors. Great alarm clock on weekdays. Horrible inconvenience on weekends when you want to sleep off about 4 bottles of wine. Chris and I cooked Steak and Brussels Sprouts for some friends who came over and we watched Project Runway and some other shows. It kind of felt super adult, in some ways, but it was really fun.
We've been doing a good job of keeping up with my one New Year's resolution, which was to save money and cook more. Chris is a really good cook, and it's really fun to plan and execute a meal.
One of my friends visiting said I was "nesting". Ugh, breeders. ;)
So I'm up super early on a Saturday because the couple above me had a kid 2 years ago, and now he starts running around at 8am on hardwood floors. Great alarm clock on weekdays. Horrible inconvenience on weekends when you want to sleep off about 4 bottles of wine. Chris and I cooked Steak and Brussels Sprouts for some friends who came over and we watched Project Runway and some other shows. It kind of felt super adult, in some ways, but it was really fun.
We've been doing a good job of keeping up with my one New Year's resolution, which was to save money and cook more. Chris is a really good cook, and it's really fun to plan and execute a meal.
One of my friends visiting said I was "nesting". Ugh, breeders. ;)
Monday, January 4, 2010
Happy (Belated) New Year
Just wanted to drop a belated New Year wish to everyone! I haven't been blogging at all cause I've been traveling to California, and I did a road trip with my cousins to Vegas for the past weekend!
Vegas was awesome. I went with 16 cousins (including some spouses) and this is the side that I'm fully out to. We always have a good time, and it was even more special to me because it was the first time I'd hung out with everyone in a group setting since coming out to them individually. I know it gets old cause I keep noting on it, but it's really great how nothing has changed with the relationships that were really important to me, other than that I am closer to them, and no longer lying to them. I can't express enough how much better I feel when I talk to them,
Now I'm in San Diego staying with some of them. Looking forward to eating a lot of good food down here, and doing a day trip to LA probably. Woo!
Vegas was awesome. I went with 16 cousins (including some spouses) and this is the side that I'm fully out to. We always have a good time, and it was even more special to me because it was the first time I'd hung out with everyone in a group setting since coming out to them individually. I know it gets old cause I keep noting on it, but it's really great how nothing has changed with the relationships that were really important to me, other than that I am closer to them, and no longer lying to them. I can't express enough how much better I feel when I talk to them,
Now I'm in San Diego staying with some of them. Looking forward to eating a lot of good food down here, and doing a day trip to LA probably. Woo!
Monday, December 28, 2009
Eh, maybe I spoke too soon.
Eh, just a few days after I post that I don't feel like a noob anymore, I get handed a bunch of situations that make me feel completely unprepared once again.
First off, my Mom is kind of "two steps forward, two steps back", and not in a Paula Abdul friendly kind of way. Like, I had mentioned to her last time that I was seeing someone, and she didn't seem that interested in hearing more, so I didn't really press the issue. This time she was asking questions about him, like how old he is and stuff. All of this seemed pretty good, and I was kind of happy my Mom was interested in my life again. Then she asked "Has he had previous partners?" She actually said this. I don't know if it was her Asian-ness or the fact that she was a doctor that made her feel entitled to that. I got kind of angry with her, and asked her if she had asked my Sister-in-law that. She doesn't even really have the decency to be embarassed or sheepish about it. Ugh. So they're a work in progress.
The big dilemma for me is coming in the form of family weddings, though. So I took Chris to a friend's wedding in Thanksgiving, and it was really fun. However, now I'm getting invited to a ton of cousin's weddings for this upcoming year. 4 so far, actually (I have a gigantic family). Not really sure what to do here.
So that's kind of lame. I mean, one of the things I love about Chris is that he's really understanding of my general overthinking of everything, and would understand if I'm not comfortable bringing him to all these weddings. It still kind of sucks though :(.
Eh, the first one isn't until April. I have some time to decide I guess.
First off, my Mom is kind of "two steps forward, two steps back", and not in a Paula Abdul friendly kind of way. Like, I had mentioned to her last time that I was seeing someone, and she didn't seem that interested in hearing more, so I didn't really press the issue. This time she was asking questions about him, like how old he is and stuff. All of this seemed pretty good, and I was kind of happy my Mom was interested in my life again. Then she asked "Has he had previous partners?" She actually said this. I don't know if it was her Asian-ness or the fact that she was a doctor that made her feel entitled to that. I got kind of angry with her, and asked her if she had asked my Sister-in-law that. She doesn't even really have the decency to be embarassed or sheepish about it. Ugh. So they're a work in progress.
The big dilemma for me is coming in the form of family weddings, though. So I took Chris to a friend's wedding in Thanksgiving, and it was really fun. However, now I'm getting invited to a ton of cousin's weddings for this upcoming year. 4 so far, actually (I have a gigantic family). Not really sure what to do here.
- My parents haven't met Chris in person. I dunno if a wedding is the right place for all that.
- Plus, while I'm out to a lot of the cousins and aunts/uncles on my Mom's side, there are a lot of extended family I'm not. While I don't really care, I really don't want to cause any drama, especially at a cousin's wedding. I know it's lame, but I feel like it's probably better not to bring Chris to those.
So that's kind of lame. I mean, one of the things I love about Chris is that he's really understanding of my general overthinking of everything, and would understand if I'm not comfortable bringing him to all these weddings. It still kind of sucks though :(.
Eh, the first one isn't until April. I have some time to decide I guess.
Thursday, December 24, 2009
Catch up
Haven't posted in forever! I'm so behind on my blogs too! And my porn!
I've just had a string of visitors in town for the past few weeks. It's been fun, but it's been crazy.
Everyone asks me if I felt like turning 30 was a big landmark, but I feel like I went through all the reassessment when I turned 29 (hence, uh, this blog, and everything that's happened because of it). I had an amazing birthday party with all my straight friends, and my new gay friends. I just got some space reserved at a casual bar in the east village, and people dropped by all night. At one point there were like 40 of my friends there! It's kind of a cliche, but I really do feel like my friends have been such an important part of my whole journey, and I think they were all really excited to be there, this year of all years, for so many reasons. My sister also came into town from DC, and it was the second time she and Chris have gotten to hang out a lot, and it was really fun. She likes him, a lot, which is important to me.
So I ended up getting Chris a snowboarding Jacket- we're going to Vermont with some friends to go snowboarding for a 3-day weekend in January and we're really excited! He's never been at all, and doesn't have any snowboarding kit, so I'm gonna try to dig up an old bib and gloves and goggles from home, and I got him a new jacket and gloves for christmas. He got me a Le Creuset Dutch Oven that I've been wanting for a long time; we had discussed gifts like some of you guys suggested, and he basically came out and told me that he was totally stumped on gifts heh. It cooks like a dream (if you cook at all, you probably know Le Creuset), and the nice thing is we can cook more often with it.
Even if you're in Cali, you probably heard about our little snowstorm, right? Just right after my sister left, my cousin and her husband came to town for a wedding and also crashed with me. They were supposed to fly out Sunday, but because of the Blizzard and the crazy holiday flights, they didn't get a flight out until TODAY. It was really cool to have them the extra days and we got to do more stuff, but it is nice to finally have my apartment back to myself. If just for the porn.
I fly back to Cali today after work! And right after the New Year's, I'm going to Vegas with my cousins! These are the cousins I'm out to. It wouldn't be so weird if I ditched them one night to go to a gay club, but where would I even go? I really just want to see strippers and go-go boys. Now that I'm 30, I'm comfortable being a dirty old man :D. Anyone know a good place?
Turning 30, having an awesome boyfriend, and being pretty much out to everyone I know (ok, there's still my Dad's side of the family and some of my high school friends I haven't seen yet this year), I kind of feel like this blog was wildly successful in it's first task! And it's probably time to refocus it. I dunno. Probably with the new year I'll have a new title, about box, and stuff like that.
I've just had a string of visitors in town for the past few weeks. It's been fun, but it's been crazy.
The big 3-0
Everyone asks me if I felt like turning 30 was a big landmark, but I feel like I went through all the reassessment when I turned 29 (hence, uh, this blog, and everything that's happened because of it). I had an amazing birthday party with all my straight friends, and my new gay friends. I just got some space reserved at a casual bar in the east village, and people dropped by all night. At one point there were like 40 of my friends there! It's kind of a cliche, but I really do feel like my friends have been such an important part of my whole journey, and I think they were all really excited to be there, this year of all years, for so many reasons. My sister also came into town from DC, and it was the second time she and Chris have gotten to hang out a lot, and it was really fun. She likes him, a lot, which is important to me.
Gift update
So I ended up getting Chris a snowboarding Jacket- we're going to Vermont with some friends to go snowboarding for a 3-day weekend in January and we're really excited! He's never been at all, and doesn't have any snowboarding kit, so I'm gonna try to dig up an old bib and gloves and goggles from home, and I got him a new jacket and gloves for christmas. He got me a Le Creuset Dutch Oven that I've been wanting for a long time; we had discussed gifts like some of you guys suggested, and he basically came out and told me that he was totally stumped on gifts heh. It cooks like a dream (if you cook at all, you probably know Le Creuset), and the nice thing is we can cook more often with it.
Blizzard!
Even if you're in Cali, you probably heard about our little snowstorm, right? Just right after my sister left, my cousin and her husband came to town for a wedding and also crashed with me. They were supposed to fly out Sunday, but because of the Blizzard and the crazy holiday flights, they didn't get a flight out until TODAY. It was really cool to have them the extra days and we got to do more stuff, but it is nice to finally have my apartment back to myself. If just for the porn.
I fly back to Cali today after work! And right after the New Year's, I'm going to Vegas with my cousins! These are the cousins I'm out to. It wouldn't be so weird if I ditched them one night to go to a gay club, but where would I even go? I really just want to see strippers and go-go boys. Now that I'm 30, I'm comfortable being a dirty old man :D. Anyone know a good place?
30, out, not-a-noob
Turning 30, having an awesome boyfriend, and being pretty much out to everyone I know (ok, there's still my Dad's side of the family and some of my high school friends I haven't seen yet this year), I kind of feel like this blog was wildly successful in it's first task! And it's probably time to refocus it. I dunno. Probably with the new year I'll have a new title, about box, and stuff like that.
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