Big hugz to Steve over at Lions, Tigers, and Science Oh My who just came out to his Mom and it didn't go so great.
When I was home over Christmas, there were moments where I felt like things maybe were ok with my Mom and Dad. They clearly were making some attempts to stay involved with my life, but I didn't know how much they wanted to know. Eventually they did ask a few questions about my bf; like where he's from, and what he does for a living (I didn't mention the unemployment, cause... that would not have made him very popular). I really hope it goes ok when I finally introduce him in person, but I should keep my expectations realistic.
I do think I still have a lot of disappointment and a little anger that my parents (my Mom in particular) didn't take my coming out very well, and in general made it all about her. Like I said to Steve, I think one of the hardest parts of growing up is realizing that your parents are imperfect, and that you can only expect so much of them before you get disappointed. My parents will never be the super-supportive PFLAG parents or anything, and if they're actually working hard to accept me for who I am, I have to be able to do the same and accept their slowness to accept change as well.
Anyway, good luck Steve, please keep us updated.
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Thank you very much, and its nice to hear other people's experiences as well. Unfortunately things are still very bad, but its only been a day or so...I couldn't expect it to be much better.
ReplyDeleteSteve
Despite the crap that both of you have gone through, it's got to better than not being honest to your parents. I hope that one day the parents will understand how difficult it was for you.
ReplyDeleteHeh. My parents both made it about them, not about me as well. I think there's a certain logic, i.e. "I am a huge influence over my child's life. If their current behavior / successes are due to nurture over nature, I have contributed to their being. Therefore they're gay because of me."
ReplyDeleteMy mom kept asking what they'd done wrong, or what they'd done to "make me this way" initially. I *think* she's moved past that. My dad and I don't talk about it.